I am 32 years old, and my boyfriend and I have been together for a few years now, and when we first met, I told him I wasn’t looking for a casual relationship.  He was okay with this, because he was looking to settle down as well; but now that I’m bringing up marriage and asking for the direction of our relationship, he’s very reluctant.  He claims he needs a more time to “get himself together?  Should I give him a little more time?

You are 32 years old, and if you know what you want, you need to be with someone who wants the same thing.  If he lied to you from the beginning, you have to determine what his motives were.  The longer you stay, the longer you deter planning your future.  I don’t suggest you wait to see if he will change his mind, because it’s apparent that he’s not interested in pursuing anything more than a casual relationship with you.  When someone loves you, they’re willing to work through the good and bad together.  It seems as if he’s only stalling for more time to make sure there aren’t better options for him to pursue. 

Spare yourself any further heartache.  You’re only delaying the inevitable and will regret and resent him in the end.  The longer you postpone the breakup, the harder it will be to leave.

-Terry D.