Who’s to Blame?


You can’t continue to blame him if you make the decision to stay.  As women, we would like to believe that it’s our civic duty to change a man.  Even when we’ve seen all the signs and then some, we stay with the anticipation that things will get better.  The worse it becomes, the more excuses we formulate instead of accepting the reality.  People change because and when they are ready or want to change.  If someone continues to cheat on you, but you choose to repeatedly forgive them, who’s to blame?  Yes, cheating is wrong, but are you wrong for not leaving?  Stop being an enabler to the habits of infidelity. 

We would like to see the best in others, but don’t stay and begin to compartmentalize and stereotype men, because you choose to STAY!  We begin developing an internal detestation and blame men for all of our problems.  At this point, you’re just as responsible for not being proactive in taking control of your own destiny.  People will only do to you what is allowed.  More often than not, if he has decided to cheat or not commit to you, it’s an intrinsic character flaw, that has little to do with you.

There definitely has to be accountability, but it’s not up to you to make someone be accountable.   You can only choose to walk away and create your own path to happiness, and stop depending on someone else to do it.  When you take pride in yourself, and learn to love you, you can begin to dwell in a place that breeds peace, and all that your heart desires will follow…

-Terry D.

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