Desperate Measures (Inspired from an episode of BET’s “The Game”)

 After watching (BET’s, “The Game”), it really started me to thinking about women over 40 who are single! Do we begin settling from frustration and fear of being alone after a certain age? I watched Tasha Mack (BET’s, “The Game”) as she visibly became frustrated and defeated from not having a significant other. In fact, she became so frustrated that she unknowingly hired an escort for sexual favors, but even after finding out, after a brief moment of anger, she agreed to continue paying this gentleman for his “services.” It was a sad display of despondency to witness, and became even more undignified. She looked unraveled and desperate to say the least. While some felt a sense of empathy for her, others felt like she did what she had to do. Men can sniff out desperation a mile away, and if they have no true substance, they will take advantage of that moment to pounce.

Although it wasn’t a pleasant scene to watch, it is the reality for some! Not as far as to pay an escort, but just to seek desperate measures in order to have the company of a man. Her motives weren’t so much that she wanted to have a full-time partner, but she just wanted her sexual needs met – which is another talk show. It’s so easy to mistake sex for intimacy when we are jaded by a lonely heart. If I can speak for most women, we would prefer intimacy over sex. NEWS FLASH – They are not one in the same!

There is a difference in being alone and being lonely. Some people have problems with being alone, and will settle for being involved in a not so satisfying relationship as an end to a means; and when you’re lonely you make remorseful and illogical decisions. The acceptance of degradation of women has actually become our norm and desensitized us to respect ourselves.  The message from this show should not have been admiration or to mimic the actions of this actress, but to check yourself where you stand! It has been my experience that we love uttering the words, “my boyfriend.” You can almost always identify a new relationship, or even a person that needs to be validated by having someone in their life, because they will always find a way to work the subject of their “boyfriend” in the conversation.

Don’t allow loneliness or desperation to alter your character.

What are your thoughts?

-Terry D.

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