We’re upset at the fact that mainstream networks view us as negative vs. positive when it comes to portraying  African-American relationships on television; and are afraid to feature an African-American male http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/46907/first-black-bachelor-announced/ or female on ABC’s The Bachelor, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bachelor_(season_16) and even more upset that their views on African-American relationships are almost non-existent or incapable of true love.  Although America has personally witnessed successful African-American couples for themselves, the cable networks paint a different picture; but what’s even more disturbing is the fact that we play these degrading roles that depict African-Americans in dysfunctional relationships, being angry, cheaters, money-chasers, ballers, rowdy, blinged out, attention seeking characters.  Until we stop being the #1 viewers and participants of these shows, the airwaves will continue being inundated with these type of shows.  We have allowed these shows to become the blueprint for our relationship behavioral actions.  There are some who can separate the two, but some can’t and don’t care to.  We can’t be upset for others labeling us, when we insist on living up to stereotypes.

We use the excuse that drama sells, but we also watched The Cosby Show, and they weren’t cursing one another out, or pulling out hair and glamorizing unethical behavior.  Is it more so that we just enjoy animalistic behavior, because that’s all we think we are?  There are shows out there that actually prove our capability of civil behavior in relationships, like Reed between the Lines, but you never see this trending on the Social Networks, because there’s not enough ignorance… Here’s a show that carries so many positive tones; how to deal with conflict resolution without anger, blended families, a couple that actually loves one another, and doesn’t have to be at each other’s throat all the time; but for some reason just like the rest of America, we join in on the myth that this isn’t the norm for us.  In reality, we do have more and more blended families, and need to learn how to live in them, if not in perfect harmony, at least with humility.

I saw disagreements among my parents growing up, but I also saw the love as well.  It’s up to us, which we decide to act upon.  We can’t keep hiding behind the excuse that this is the way we show our love.  Why accept defeat?  We’ve taken it so far as to think that we have to be okay with the negative connotations attached to our culture.  What happened to releasing the shackles and breaking the generational curses?

People can only do to you, what you allow!  NO, none of us are perfect, but we can’t continue to blame others for things that we accept!

-Terry D.