Loving You First…


As women, we are almost taught from birth to love everyone else, so it’s no wonder that it’s been an uphill battle to love ourselves, or even be able to recognize when others may not love us.  We give unconditional love to our children, love our families and we certainly love the men in our lives through many toils. When our children disappoint us because of our self-appointed expectations or just mere disregard, it does something to our heart, but we get over it.  We love our families in spite of our disagreements, because as the saying goes, “You can’t choose your family.”  These are people in our lives that we love just because…When it comes to matters of the heart, we internalize the feeling of the unreturned love and almost become ambassadors for trying to change it and the outcome.

I have to think that these learned lessons of love carry over into our Adult love lives with the opposite sex.  Somewhere along the way, we didn’t learn to separate the acceptance of love.  We didn’t learn that all is not fair in love.  Although it’s not okay to allow anyone to mistreat you or your heart, the toleration we learned from loving our family and friends translate in how we accept the unacceptable in relationships.  For so long, we’ve adapted to forgiveness for the crimes committed against our hearts.

We automatically believe we’re innately programmed to love ourselves; therefore we miss and ignore the signs when we fail to do so.  Essentially, this is true since God is love.  We start off loving ourselves, but then almost teach others how to NOT love us by not holding them or ourselves accountable.  We have to love ourselves unconditionally in order to expect someone else to do the same.  The realization of our inability to love ourselves cuts like a knife, but when you face the reality, it opens the door for healing and loving yourself the way you’ve always loved everyone else.

Love YOU FIRST… before you try to love anyone else.

-Terry D.

2 thoughts on “Loving You First…”

    1. Thank you so much! Yes, so true – you definitey have to know what it means in order to give/receive it. As the old saying, “It begins within you!”

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