Our first mind would tell us that she’s a tramp, just sleeping around. Most of us would hardly, if ever admit it, but there are more of us than not, that replace love with sex, and sometimes we can’t admit it, because we don’t know it’s what we’re doing. It’s as if we somehow use sex as a drug that gives a temporary fix. Before you even indulge in the act, you may start to feel bad, but somehow, you can’t seem to control it, because it’s all you know – it’s your coping mechanism. It’s a feeling of thinking you will never really find someone to truly love you, so you begin to make yourself believe this is all you have to offer, or hoping if you do it long enough, it will eventually turn into love. We begin the justifications: I’m only human, I have needs, it’s only sex etc.

You tell yourself, that the next person you meet or date, you will take your time and get to know him, but there you are again, faced with the notion that you have to act fast in order to keep him interested, and although we subconsciously know that if he can’t love me for me, and not for just what’s between my legs, I don’t need him; but yet we give in that other conscious that tells us, “It’s okay.” In the heat of the moment, all “common sense” goes out of the window. When we’re alone, we feel like we’ve sold our soul to the devil, and promise ourselves that we’ll never do it again. Self-pity is not going to help you. You have to pray for clarity, forgive yourself and seek out the root cause! There are a number of factors that cause us to believe we’re not worthy:

Broken relationships – Childhood – Abuse – Loneliness and the list goes on…

There is not a price large enough to pay for your dignity and nothing or no one can determine your worth, but you! Sex is just THAT – SEX. It’s a temporary, unfulfilling feel good intimate interaction! I’ve found throughout my life, that there is a clear cut difference between sex and making love. We have sex, until we learn the true meaning of love. When we begin to experience true love, the idea of “JUST SEX” goes out the window, and the emotional ties that bind the two individuals begin to transcend our hearts and minds.

When we experience true love and love making, there is no going back… You want it all or nothing, and now that you know the difference, you are more conscious of your choices, and even if you slip up, you don’t stay there long. Although it seems as though it should be innate for us to value ourselves, life has a way of altering our mindset, but without these experiences, the journey without the experiences are just pop quizzes without a final exam!

Terry D.