As long as anyone can continue to uncover everything that’s wrong in someone else’s relationship, it keeps them from having to face what’s not right in their own.  Telling themselves that a few good acts of kindness surely means that someone loves them; when in reality, it’s just in their nature to be kind, but it doesn’t constitute love, it constitutes an obligation. 

They stay long enough, and have lived this lie so long, that no matter what others think, they actually believe that things will get better.  Yes, it’s easier to sit back and judge someone who stays in a loveless relationship, but they’re deluding themselves, by playing along; but the offender is holding them on a short leash with empty promises and feeding them nuggets of deceptive happiness, while all the while emotionally handicapping their ability to distinguish the difference between love and habitual propensities.  Their coping mechanisms become almost delusional, because anytime someone brings up anything negative, they’re on the defensive, with a quick comeback and a tone of resentment.

Signs of loving with blinders on:

1. Staying isolated, to conceal the truth from others
2. You have more to offer, but always feel like you’re not in a position to ever prove it, without making the other person feel small
3. You deflate yourself, to inflate the other person
4. Anytime someone brings up your relationship, you change the subject, or you talk about other people
5. “Your” plans of commitment are always postponed, because don’t be mistaken, they are “YOUR” plans
6. You find yourself – ALWAYS comparing their good from their bad
7. You begin convincing yourself, that this is what you wanted all along, “It’s not so bad – it could be worse.”
8. You feel a sense in indebtedness

We meet people at vulnerable moments in our lives, and they seem to be our “Knight in Shining Armor!”  It’s not that you don’t think about all the things that people say, or even consider it to be the truth, when you’re all alone, but until you’re ready to face the truth, the truth is quickly buried, and it’s back to an erroneous life, because it’s easier for others to see clearer, because they’re not in it, and although the truth hurts, no matter what, until you’re ready to face your own demons, you continue.  The other sad truth is there are some who honestly aren’t aware that they’re loving with blinders on…

Terry D.