People either use the excuse of not wanting to get married, because it ‘s just a piece of paper, they don’t believe in it, or they’ve seen too many marriages fail .

First and foremost, it’s not just a piece of paper, it’s our commitment before God, that we will honor one another. Why the hell is it such an ordeal to NOT do it, if its just a piece of paper? I often wonder if we wouldn’t feel so stressed, if we made the decision for the right reasons.  There are people  who almost go into cardiac arrest about the mere thought of marriage, because they feel brow beaten or guilted into it, and those who feel as if they have no choice… Even if the person agrees to marry you, are you okay with resentfully being loved?

Secondly, if someone you’re with, doesn’t believe in marriage, either they’re a product of a broken home, they’re buying time to see if there’s something better out there, or they could honestly be afraid! The fear can come from so many underlying factors, and a sense of feeling as if they’re going to lose something by signing up for such a long term commitment that now also includes having to consider another person in everything they do.  I think we believe that it’s as simple as, if you love me, you will marry me, but it is so much more than that!  As much as the one person may guilt someone else into marrying them, they may very well not be ready themselves.  You shouldn’t just marry someone because you have history, and believe that because you hung in there, they now owe you something.  You made the decision to stay – right or wrong.   

Marriage doesn’t fail.  People fail to honor their vows in their marriage, aren’t willing to put in the work and blame one another for not giving their all!

The scripture that is so often used when it comes to love holds true.

1st Corinthians 13: 4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails.

“We justify and adjust our behaviors and feelings, based on what others think and say, with the hopes that they’ll change.” – Terry D.

Take the Five Languages of Love Quiz ( Gary Chapman)

http://www.polyu.edu.hk/sao/publications/emagazine/issue133/love%20language2.pdf

Terry D.