Don’t Internalize The Pain

thCA4QPVRJWe internalize so many pains, that we learn to deal with it and become WAAAAYYY too familiar with disappointment that it seems like the norm!  I’m sorry, wait a minute – NO I’M NOT!!!!! I won’t apologize for not being a part of that grin and bear it generation!  Somebody, Anybody, EVERYBODY needs to know that I’ve been a damn fool, because when I look like I just might go down that road again, someone can be there to smack some sense into me.

NOW, let’s break this down:

FIRST, you have to know that you have a problem.  You can’t keep making excuses as to why you have broken up and gotten back together with the same person so many times, that everyone STOPS listening.  Yea yea, we know – this is the last time, I’m never talking to him again, and the next week…Let’s just keep it real, the next day, he’s back up in your bed, apologizing, taking you out for a cheeseburger and paying your cell phone bill.  I already know what some of you are thinking!  Cell phone bill?  Yes- cell phone bill, because although you have rent/mortgage, electric bills and taxes, somehow some of you are real proud to brag about getting your cell phone bill paid.  Really?

SECOND, it’s not up to the other person, but for you to start making some changes.  It’s not always something you did, but a lesson that is preparing you for the unknown.  Take some time for yourself, and allow YOU time to heal.  Don’t internalize the pain, and allow it to consume you!  NO – it’s not easy, but doable.  First and foremost, STOP taking the calls, texts, message in a bottle – whatever, just STOP – there’s an APP for that!  

THIRD, don’t sit around trying to figure out who, what, when, where and how. The only thing you need to know is, “What did I contribute to the failure of this relationship?”  Therefore, you won’t carry this into your next relationship! More importantly, be glad God has more sense than we do, and loves us enough, when we don’t know how to love ourselves.  

Trying to get closure, will send you back into that tailspin relationship, because you’ll keep trying to find out from that other person – what went wrong?  Subconsciously, or maybe even consciously, this is another way of holding on. Closure is LETTING GO – point-blank!  If someone doesn’t care about you, they surely don’t give a damn if you get closure.

REMEMBER THIS:  You had an existence before this relationship, and you can exist after it.  This is probably not your first experience with a broken heart, and you didn’t think you’d get through that either, but you did, so you already know you GOT THIS!  It always seems impossible when it first happens!  The other funny thing is, once you do get over it, it’s like someone turned on the light, and you’re like – What the Efff?


Later when you see your ex, you are now wondering – what did I ever see in them…

Terry D.

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