Well, at my last conversation party this past weekend with all MEN, Yesssssss, I said all men!  If we want to know what his agenda is, and what makes him tick, we have to COMMUNICATE, but more importantly – LISTEN!  If we knew everything, would there be so many discussions on Being Single, or how NOT TO BE? It was very informative, because what we think we know about them, is not always the case.  After that last relationship, that’s it, I’ve got it – now I understand what men want.  Yea, right – nothing could be further from the truth.

The first thing one guy told me was, “Hell, half the time, we don’t know what we want ourselves.”  Another one asked, “Why do I give everything she ask me for, and it’s still not enough?”  One gentleman said point-blank – “Women need to first figure out what they want, stop looking for men to figure it out for them, and to STOP letting allowing us treat them any kind of way.”  He said, “No, it might not be right, but I treat women how they act.” 

Gentleman #1:  Now get this.  There was one man who admitted he was married, and he doesn’t hide that from the women he meet, but they’re still okay with it.  Where are the standards?  We say what sounds good to the public, but  we are living  a den of lies, disrespecting ourselves and the wife as a woman.  Well, my question for him was, “Why are you cheating on your wife?”  He first made excuses, but as we dug deeper, he said he was faithful for over 10 years, and it just happened.  I didn’t buy that, because I told him, we all have control over our choices, and to explain how it just happened – did her panties fall off or did you fall on her, and your penis just happen to slip inside of her?  He began to tell me how he went down this destructive, toxic and unhealthy path.  He honestly asked me, “How do I get myself out of this?”  Although he had made some bad decisions in the past, you could see how badly he really wanted to do the right thing, but felt like it was too late.  

Gentleman #2:  Okay – whewwwww… This gentleman told me that although he had cheated in the past, he always knew he wouldn’t leave his wife, but the “other woman” did everything right, to seriously make him consider it.  He began making up excuses to spend time with her, because she was “FUN!” Make no mistake about it, “I had more to lose by leaving my family, than to have a cheap thrill and fun.” 

WHAT THEY WANT US TO KNOW…

• Make us respect you
• Sex helps, but doesn’t make us stay
• Most of us WON’T leave our wives for YOU
• We know when you’re desperate
• We know if we want you, and if we don’t have that conversation in the 1st 6 months, we’re just buying time

Synopsis: It’s always easy for people who don’t live with you day in and day out to think you’re amazing.  Men do  not think like we do ladies, and believe it or not, when you think you’re winning them over by giving them everything they want sexually, at the end of the day, they can get that anywhere.   Sex NEVER means the same thing to men that it means to us.  Now, that doesn’t mean that men can’t connect emotionally, but their emotions aren’t attached to their penis.   He doesn’t have to respect you to sleep with you.  We have to respect ourselves enough to know when NOT to get involved and when to bail out!  Know that his actions may not line up with his promises, but that you may have set yourself up for failure by not being honest with yourself! 

Terry D.