Men and women love to think they know what the other person wants. After some failures and success, surely we find out where we fall short, as well as where our strengths lie. We’re told to Act Like a Lady, and Think Like A Man, but I prefer to Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Lady, and have a man that Acts Like A Man, Thinks Like A Man, but we both respect, accept and comprise our differences. BUT, we do learn what it means to treat one another with respect, and we adjust our behaviors, based on our love for the person we choose to spend our lives with.
As a Woman, I listen to what a man tells me he wants and expects from his mate, but I also understand that no two men are alike, so we have to remember that when we start a new relationship. Just because your ex liked something, doesn’t mean your new mate will. Ask questions, explore and enjoy the endless possibilities of the journey…
Don't be so shocked, if someone doesn’t have the same sexual appetite or needs. Don’t try to make your ex’s favorite color, work for your new love. Listen with your heart, and accept the change.
Learn to appreciate what you have, love in the moment and leave the past where it belongs!
We have to stop allowing projected imagery to sway our values. It seems that no matter what we believe in, it’s so easily altered by suggestive manipulation through the media. So much so, that we now have more love for, “The Side Chick,” than we do for the wife. It doesn’t matter if I’ve been cheated on before, because what I know for sure, is that God has promised me a life of abundance, and I will not allow myself, or His promise to be cheapened by a woman “Playing the Role,” of a jumpoff..
People are actually now comparing themselves to adulterers that they see on television, and even going so far as to enter the “I Am Mary Jane,” contest to prove it. Their confession videos say, “I’m Mary Jane, because I like sex.” “I’m Mary Jane, because my life is just that messy!” “I’m Mary Jane, because I can have it all.” So now they’ve stooped so low as to go and seek out dysfunctional women who say, they can have their cake and eat it too, because they can relate to Mary Jane? I’m sure we all can relate, but that doesn’t mean, I want that to be the end all, be all for my relationship status.
There are other smaller African American films that portray a little conflict, but shows how to make it work, fight for love, and put in the time. These shows have no chance of making it onto the big screen, and definitely not becoming a series, because for some reason, common sense, Black Love, monogamy, and clean love are not appealing enough to grab the viewer’s attention. We are cynical enough to believe that surely this can’t be real, because if we look at all the shows that are inundating the airwaves, they unapologetically suggest that we are not capable of true love, BUT I refuse to believe the hype, lies and garbage.
So, lets explore a show entitled: He’s Mine, Not Yours – It’s a short film about a reformed womanizer, who is currently committed to his current girlfriend, but because her girl is telling her that all men are cheaters and dogs, she allows it to get in her mind, and now she literally pays someone to tempt him… Not only does she hire this beautiful self proclaimed, “Man Stealer,” but she disguises herself, to spy on him, of course, with her girlfriend, who continues to tell her that all men cheat. You’ll have to watch the movie to see if he gives in or not! I will say that this man had temptation coming from every end, his boy in his ear, trying to convince him to cheat… Oh yes, it gets good and interesting, but don’t let me spoil it for you, it’s on Netflix right now.
The moral of the story is: I get that we may be tainted by some failed relationships that either we’ve experienced first hand, or from failed marriages that we witness fall apart in our very own families, but that shouldn’t deter our faith in believing that true love does exist! You see, this has absolutely nothing to do with cheaters and dogs, but everything to do with it being easier for us to believe a lie, than to stare the truth directly in the eye! If it’s your fear, face it. If its insecurities, face them, get help. If you don’t believe you’re worth it, STOP RIGHT THERE! Proverbs 31:10 -11 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.…
So what is it that we are doing? We’re creating our very own generational curses to pass onto our children. We should not be cheering for the Mary Janes and Olivia Popes. Do I dislike them as women? Absolutely not, but that doesn’t mean I have to support degradation, and nor do I have to force feed it to my daughter. The dialogue for family values is minimal, but on any given Sunday, Tuesday or Thursday night, social media is flooded with the the opinions of RHOA, Being Mary Jane and Scandal.
As I’m scrolling through my newsfeed, most times I can’t tell if people are talking about people they actually know, or whoever the characters are portraying in these shows.
Bottom line – we have to get it together, stop the foolishness and tend to and nurture our own relationships. We’re so consumed with reality television, or shows that make African American women look so freaking desperate, that we now are happy to be the side chick. What sort of ignorance is that? Really? The world can only stereotype what is handed to them on a platter.