Please check out my article, How to Build Better Relationships in The Jet Magazine. Relationships, whether it be personal or professional, can be parallel in their dynamics. Want to read more on how, follow the link below, and check it out. Please rate, share and comment!
How to Build Better Relationships – JetMag.com.
Terry D.
I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man! Because I’m a WOMAN! You remember the Enjoli commercial
I hear so many women say what they wouldn’t do just because a man says he likes it. i.e. haircut, certain color lipstick. Well, now maybe that’s why you may not have a man, or can’t keep one. What’s so wrong with wanting to look good for your significant other? Instead, because it makes us feel like we’re being weak, we do the complete opposite. That’s where we completely throw out the notion of compromise. We always say that men aren’t as complicated as us, and to me the simple things are an easy fix. Don’t be afraid to put in the extra work and effort.
“My wife only wears makeup when I’m around because she knows I like it.” -Jerry T. He also said that it makes him want to give her the world, because she cares enough to do something she wouldn’t normally do.
YOU KNOW HOW THERE ARE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS? BE A SPOUSE WITH BENEFITS!
I had a conversation with a friend, and she shared some of the things that her husband expressed that he liked about her, and she made it happen. She said,
“I certainly don’t do it for me, but I noticed the difference in his reaction to me, when I started doing some of the things he said he likes.” Anonymous
When we wanted to get them, we pulled out all the stops, but then we just STOP! Where/how does that make sense? When I used to tell my boyfriend that I liked his cologne, he was giddy, and when I saw him, he would have that cologne on. He knew how to dress, but considered my feelings enough to ask me what color suit he should wear, or what color tie. These are the things that keep us interested and excited about one another. There is nothing wrong with submitting to your husband/wife. Stop trying to prove a point, because it will get you no where, but back to a single status real fast. When someone knows that you not only value their opinion, but you’re willing to go out of your way to oblige them, the possibilities are endless.
Why do we insist on making things harder than they have to be? I’m sorry, but some things are just not rocket science, and I don’t want to go through life upset and disgruntled. We complain about so many things in our relationships, and when you have simple solutions, why not just do it! The truth is, we do those little things for him, but just don’t want him to know that. Why play games? Let him know that you value his opinion…
Terry D.
As a culture, we don’t groom our children for family and marriage. Just because marriage may not have worked out for you, or you never walked down the aisle, doesn’t mean you taint the views of marriage to your children. We should always want more for them, than we had/have.
Things we shouldn’t be saying to them:
1. All men are dogs (Lack of Trust)
2. Make sure you get paid first (Soft Prostitution)
3. Women will use you (Lack of trust)
4. You’re a player, don’t get trapped by one woman (Womanizer)
5. Keep her in her place (Promotes abuse)
Our habits, good or bad, are mimicked by our offsprings, and if they see us as women, disrespecting the man in the house, it teaches our daughters not to respect her husband, and our sons to either be doormats or even abusive, because of resentment. We don’t like to use the word roles, until it applies to the heavy lifting responsibilities, like certain chores or finances. I like being a lady, I like feeling safe, I like handing over certain things to him, I like him walking on the outside of me, opening my door. See that’s his “Role.” Yes, there is a surge of single parents, so it becomes second nature to just do things for yourself. It’s not a sign of weakness, if you relinquish carrying out the garbage, or changing a lock. It does take some getting used to. These are all the dysfunctional behaviors we subconsciously teach ourselves and our children, and before you know it, your daughter is saying, “I don’t need a man to take care of me.” In all reality, it feels good to have the option, but when all you’ve seen is Mama doing it for herself, it just seems natural to adopt the same feelings. I talk a lot about generational curses, because it’s the very thing that is tearing the black family apart.
Groom your son for marriage. Don’t teach him to be a player, by telling him at the age of 2, that he’s a pimp, he will be a heart breaker and all the girls are going to love him. Planting seeds of womanizing is dangerous. If you’re a man who likes a lot of women, and you flaunt this in front of both your daughter and son, she will think it’s okay for a man to cheat, and your son will admire your slick ways, and soon mirror them.
Ladies, please stop bringing every Tom, Dick and Harry around your children. Especially your daughter. We can teach our daughters to respect themselves, by how we dress and how we conduct ourselves. Stop looking for a man to pay you for sex. Yes, I said it, because it’s nothing short of hoeing yourself out. Do you wonder why your daughter is now giving it up for a $25 fill in? She felt obligated, because it’s what she’s been taught.
Be the change agent and role model for your children. Teach them to respect the opposite sex. talk to them straight up about sex and respecting not only their bodies, but others as well. They need to know that NO means NO. Abstinence is not “The SIN!”
The not so funny piece to the puzzle is, when we see our children behaving in disrespectful ways like us, we are now angry and ready to beat them down. When the truth is, they learned it from YOU!
Dysfunctional behaviors are created well before they’re teens, and will follow them into their adult lives. It’s easy to create them, but like hell to break and redirect. We do have the power to instill positive and strong influence within them. We have to take our families back!
Terry D.
IamTerryD BLOG with Relationship Coach, Terry D. 