Don’t Believe the Hype – Black Women Are NOT Doomed When It Comes to Marriage


There has been a great deal of stories looming about Black Women and their singleness, or lack of chances to get married.  An African-American Author, Ralph Richard Banks wrote a book entitled, Is Marriage for White People? :  How the African-American Marriage Decline affects everyone.  In this non-fiction book, he writes, “Single is the new black!”  He also recommends that African-American women open themselves up to be willing to enter serious relationships with men of other races and backgrounds, and he argues this will improve black men and women alike.  Needless to say, the African-American community strongly disagrees, but there are some that would argue this same case.  There are statistics out there that say that 42.4 % of African-American Women will not get married, which is from an old US, Census.   In 2014 the US Census Bureau cited; 86% of 2014-Marriage-Chart
Black Men have a Black Wife, and 94% Black Women have a Black Husband.

We also have a video circulating, The Myth of the Single Black Female, which gives you an insight into how the media has spread this information for years, and how we as blacks are accepting this as our truth.  The disparity in the numbers are alarming.  WHO ARE THEY TALKING TO?

It seems to me that the more educated African-American men and women are, the more attractive and accepted they are to other races, even in the case of them not intellectually measuring up themselves.  As blacks, we have begun to feed into these fallacies and consider other races as a prize, and the more we attain, the further away we move away from our own men and women.  We expect more and place more stipulations on black men and women that we date, than we do on non-blacks.  We have to be a certain kind of dresser, we have to look a certain way, our hair has to be a certain way, and even after all these years, we still are battling color lines within our own race.  The Light vs. Dark!  That is a stigma that goes back to slavery days, where the light were allowed in the house, while the dark had to stay outside.

The problem lies within our own issues within our culture.  Our inability to identify what we lack, and that it is not as complicated as others would have us to think.  As long as someone can plant a seed of negativity, and make Black Women Believe That It’s Time to Give Up on Black Men is misguided and disrespectful.

None of this is to suggest that there is a problem with interracial relationships in the least bit, but it does raise the question, of why we’re led to believe that within our own community, that we believe it’s okay to mistreat black men and women, or judge them, just because you choose not to be with them.  It creates a form of dissension and resentment.  Your mother, sister, aunt and not to mention, your daughters are watching and taking notes.

African American Couples who are making it work, despite the statistics and stereotypes:

Jada & Will Smith will and jada

President Obama & First Lady Michelle Obama barack-and-michelle-obama-danceing

What are your thoughts?

Coach Terry D.

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