When do you EXHALE?  Do you hold your breath until you find love, or until it finds you? When the experience of love has broken you so many times, you begin to question its legitimacy.  You wonder if everyone is lying, because all of your encounters with love have left you feeling undesirable, depleted and nothing like what you’ve been shown or told.

Love is real, but for so many men and women, it feels unattainable.  If you question its validity, people question your faith, as if you’re not allowed room for error.  To be completely honest, I’ve struggled with love, and what it means to me, and if I would ever experience it in its entirety.  When I was in my early 20’s, I never had a problem with cutting off someone, and never looking back, but I attribute that to lust and immaturity.  As I got older, I began to experience real love, and it wasn’t as easy to walk away, but eventually after multiple breakups and going more than 12 rounds with the same person, I would let go.  I’m not going to lie and say it was easy, because it was not.  There are many reasons why some stay longer than others.  (i.e. addiction, insecurities)  Yes, you can be addicted to a person, or have an addictive personality.

It’s challenging for some to understand how to EXHALE, how to let go and how to make difficult decisions, whether it be to stay or leave through all the BS, without feeling judged!  Why?  Because they see people not always being honest about their struggles in their own relationships.  We live in a society where marriage equals instant happiness, or single after a certain age, means you’re damaged goods, so FOOLS rush in, without all the facts.

We put unnecessary pressures on ourselves, by trying to live up to a distorted view of reality.  Relationship Coach, Terry D.

If we’re completely honest, we can admit that we ALL have made some bad choices, but that doesn’t mean we’re not worthy, or that we don’t get a second chance.  Yes, we should hold ourselves to higher standards, but not so high, that we don’t forgive ourselves.  So the question is not when do you EXHALE, but How do I EXHALE?  By letting yourself off the hook, taking a deep breath, and accepting the fact that SHIT happens!  Stop worrying about what others think.  You have to free your heart up for love.  Guess what?  You may just make the same mistake again, but you will also now have the previous experience as a reference.  Yes, it’s true, we learn from our mistakes, but it may take more than one, BUT don’t allow others to judge you for your choices.

How do you know if you have EXHALED?  

• You find yourself no longer holding grudges
• You don’t keep returning to the scene of the crime (the reason you’re unhappy)
• You no longer carry the guilt
• You’re able to freely share your story without being angry
• You are now considering love again

There’s no formula for love, but the ONE thing you must do is persevere!  The moment you give up, or give into your fears, you have allowed the enemy to win. Relationship Coach, Terry D.

Coach Terry D.