I am 51 years old, single and I’ve never been married, and somehow that makes me an outcast, an enemy and a societal and cultural statistic and leper!
How many times must I hear?
- Are you high maintenance?
- Is something wrong with you?
- Why are you single?
- Why haven’t you ever been married?
Who set the standards and guidelines of when I’m supposed to be a wife? Am I somehow unhappy, and do I not measure up because of it? I didn’t know that my very existence was defined by my relationship status!
I can admit that it’s not always easy being single, and whether subconscious or not, I do sometimes envy couples! It can be embarrassing and exhausting having to answer questions about my dating life. I have settled before, I have had some amazing relationships and I’ve been the reason some of my relationships ended, because of my own internal demons.
Judge me if you will, but if not for these struggles that have kept me up many nights, and choices that I’m not always proud of, I wouldn’t be able to face or admit my shortcomings. It’s my sincere belief that I have been personally chosen for this journey – Good, bad or indifferent, because it fuels my purpose!
I no longer live in shame of me or my relationship status! I don’t have to be defined by what is expected of me by people who live in their own den of lies. It’s liberating to know that I’m being saved for someone that will love the “WHOLE” Terry! Not some superficial, insecure person trying to fit in!
I will not be responsible for a man not believing in love, because of my insecurities, and my own lack of trust. I will stand BOLD and accept my truth, and continue to defy the odds of any time constraints that have been placed on me. I’m a work in progress that accepts me at any juncture in my life, and while it doesn’t bother me, it’s not my problem if it bothers you!
2 thoughts on “Over 50, Single & Never Married…”
Love it! I dislike it when people judge me because of my singleness! They look at my being single as if it’s a plague or some sort of mental disease, but it’s not! There may be some dis-ease at times, but NO DISEASE OR NO DYSFUNCTION because of my relationship status! I was encouraged on NYE as I listened to the testimony of a man state, “I stand before you today with a testimony of having been married one year!” He got married at the age of 44 and was so glad he waited, and we will be too. I will trust and believe in the words of the Prophet Isaiah, “they that wait on the LORD, HE WILL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH.” (Isaiah 40:31)
Love your truth. Thanks for speaking telling so many of our own stories. Love you Terry. You were made for such s time as this.