Category Archives: Blogging

Blogging, Conflict Resolution, Dreams and Visions, Journeys, Love and Relationships, Men & Love, Sex & Intimacy, Single Ladies, Unhealthy Relationships

The Comfort of a Touch

September 1, 2014 Terry D. 1 Comment

It’s not always easy to admit that we enjoy the comfort of a touch. It’s not always about sex, but just that touch. When you have been single for so long, and you finally start dating again, and that first hug, that first kiss, is what makes you exhale, like a sigh of relief. Almost as if you melt into that person’s arms, and sometimes we do get it confused with the sex, because it’s been such a long time, and one thing leads to another, and there you are, with regrets, because all you really wanted was to feel the touch of that man or woman. There is no turning back now, because you can’t quite figure out how to explain it to the other person, because you don’t even know how to explain it to yourself, or how you even arrived at this place.

How do you figure this out, without offending the other person? What if they were in the same place, and didn’t know how to talk to you about it also? You sort through your words, and you start the conversation, but tread lightly, because it can leave a person feeling used, or it can make them turn to only wanting sex with you. You can start off by telling them that you really enjoyed the moment you shared, but not sure that you want to have a physical relationship, and that you know from experience, that how you start, is how you finish. Sure, there are rare occasions, where it doesn’t always end this way, but because you like them, you would like to take a step back, and really get to know them on a different level. All you can do, is hope that they are on the same page, or at least that they care enough to relate. This is a touchy conversation, and can go either way.

I’ve learned through some lost relationships and lessons, that if you really want something with someone, you will hold off on having sex. Yes, I know that sex should be after marriage, but that’s not always the case, so I like to make sure that I’m covering all bases. See, when you’ve met that special someone, they will be willing to take the scenic route. That’s not to say that they don’t desire you, but it’s just not the #1 priority. When you bond with someone on a different level, and you can be friends, laugh with and at one another, share stories that you may have never shared with anyone else and build trust, everything else is a slam dunk.

I’ll share an inside story: I remember when I was in my early 20’s and I met a gentleman 15 years my senior. We met, bonded and he showed me the world through his eyes. It was such an experience and eye opener to life and love; and sex had not even entered into the picture. We spent almost every night together. When we finally became intimate, it wasn’t the adrenaline that you’re used to, but it was mind blowing to me, because the bond had already been created, and I’m pretty sure that neither of us could do no wrong.

Take your time to get to know someone, and never think that sex can keep them, because if they’re not into you, it really doesn’t matter how you start or finish, but at least you know you kept your character and values in tact.

Terry D.

Blogging, Breakups, Cheating, Love and Relationships, Marriage, Men & Love, Sex & Intimacy, Single Ladies, Unhealthy Relationships

Open Relationships – “On A Break”

July 23, 2014 Terry D. 2 Comments

I was watching a talk show, and the subject was, “Open Relationships.” I tried to listen with an open mind, but the more justifications I heard from the Sex Expert,
http://www.bet.com/video/just-keke/2014/exclusives/shannon-t-boodram-breaks-down-open-relationships.html the more I wondered, What the what? Her explanation behind the reasoning of these relationships was, “With there being a new generation, and they don’t stay in anything too long, it’s only natural that they would not commit to a relationship.” Well, what makes it natural to be in an open relationship? It was, to say the least, disturbing, to hear an “Expert” justify and plant this type of seed into today’s generation. We all see how that worked out for both Dwayne Wade http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20770629,00.html and Ludacris. http://bossip.com/888989/another-year-another-love-child-ludacris-fathered-secret-baby-during-break-from-eudoxie/ They both ended up with babies during their “Break.”

Open Relationship, is just a way of saying, I want to be with you, but everyone else also, and when I’m tired of playing around, we’ll go back to being monogamous. I believe that women have conformed to this foolishness and nonsense, to fool themselves into believing that it’s okay, because otherwise, they might find themselves alone, or if they think that it might be headed in that direction anyway, they propose the concept first. Let’s just stay right there, because essentially, you are alone until they’re done with the other person/people. Not to say that there aren’t any, but there aren’t a lot of women that are willing to share their man, just to have a piece of one.

Is nothing sacred any longer? Marriage is now a convenience, or maybe even more of a fad, because if it doesn’t work, we can just have an open marriage, and trade up for a better model.

So, we’ve decided to take a break, and now you get to fool around with someone else, and not to mention, you don’t even have enough respect for me and my body, to use protection, which is evident, because you’ve gotten someone else pregnant.

So the expert’s take is, because marriages aren’t working, it’s time to do something different. The different is only going to further drive the divorce rate up, and make young adults think, that commitment is fleeting, which flows into all areas of their lives. She goes on to further compare the younger generation to not keeping jobs long, and the same serves for relationships.

An Open Relationship is just an excuse to cheat. It’s no different than being single. Who wants to be in a relationship, and feel like they’re single? It’s seems like people who want to be monogamous, are now becoming the minority.

No matter the generation, year or time, morals and values should never be dismissed, and there are so many repercussions for this behavior. I’m not going to play russian roulette with my mental, spiritual or physical well-being.

What are your thoughts?

Terry D.<img src=”https://lovechaptersdotnet.files.wordpress.com

Blogging, Dreams and Visions, Journeys

The BOSS Network Blogger’s Brunch

April 4, 2014 Terry D. 2 Comments

It has always been a blessing to be in good company, and build strong relationships with like-minded professionals! As I continue to evolve, the relationship I’ve learned to have with myself, has afforded me the wherewithal, and create opportunities to open doors that continue to cultivate positive, meaningful and strong relationships with others. The Blogger’s Community is huge, not always understood, but when you’re around other Bloggers, they get it. The hustle, the passion and endless possibilities. So when I was invited to share in the BOSS Blogger’s Brunch hosted by, Cameka Smith, CEO of The BOSS Network, which stands for, Bringing Out Successful Sisters, I was beyond elated, to share in an opportunity to continue building relationships with other bloggers, because regardless of our subject focus, the relationships between us are parallel in passion and profession! Cameka hosted this BOSS Blogger’s Brunch in honor of her new partnership with Caress. We were graciously given gift bags, with tons of Spring Body Scents from Caress! #CaressMe

Caress just partnered and signed the Grammy Award a Winning a Singer, Kelly Rowland as their Spokesperson!

Please take a look at some of these phenomenal fellow Blogger Professionals, who were very liberal in sharing their highs, lows, successes and failures, that have ALL continued to give them unrelenting drive!

Blogging, Breakups, Cheating, Conflict Resolution, Dreams and Visions, Insecurities, Journeys, Love and Relationships, Men & Love, Sex & Intimacy, Single Ladies, Single Men, Singles, starting over, Unhealthy Relationships

What’s Holding You from Love? Is it the Pain? The Past? Is it YOU?

October 7, 2013 Terry D. Leave a comment

Idealism of love often keeps us from that very thing, because we view it as a fairy tale. BUT, when our dreams of love don’t quite turn out as we’ve always imagined, it not only taints our views, but it leaves a stain in our spirit that makes us question if real love is possible… And everyone that tries to love us, has a higher price to pay than they can afford!

We put so much pressure on the person that wants to love us, because we blindside them by expecting them to live up to a fantasy. We want them to make up for an absent father, a cheating lover, failed relationships and fill the void of love that we aren’t always capable of even showing to ourselves.

So what’s the point?

Glad you asked… Essentially, we are responsible for our own happiness. We have to take back our power! Take back our hearts! Not allow our past to be a constant crutch.

STOP blaming your past, stop holding every single person responsible, because you haven’t let go. The hard truth is; sometimes we can’t let go, because we don’t believe we can, or it feels comfortable, and better than facing the truth. We become familiar with discontent and pain! Men don’t mind rescuing you, because they like feeling needed, but what they don’t like is to be made to feel like a punching bag, or fighting an uphill internal and unresolved battle!

Love doesn’t look the same for everyone, but you also discover that your failed relationships only mocked love, because your heart is riddled with strongholds that have not been released.