We are all a little (A lot) restless and stir crazy, because of the angst of COVID19, but it’s definitely not the time to allow boredom or loneliness to hijack your progress of healing!
No, the phone calls are NOT harmless
Yes, it’s only “CORONA” temporary, and I’m not talking about the beer
No, it didn’t make them realize what they didn’t have (It was a matter of a phone contact scroll, until someone took the bait)
Just like you’re bored, so are they. They will find someone that will give them attention, but it doesn’t have to be you. Dig deep, and remember WHY they’re an ex! Once this is over, they’ll start to show you exactly that. Right now it almost feels like you’re in the honeymoon stage, but when it’s all said and done, you’ll be in a post pandemic nightmare. There will be so much healing needed after this is all over, so why add the unnecessary?
Stay focused and use this time wisely. Whatever you were doing before, remember that it worked.
Remember your worth – Remember your PEACE – Use the block feature liberally!
CHARACTER – It’s what we do when no one is watching…
🎼As we lay, we forgot about tomorrow as we lay
As we lay, didn’t think about the price we had to pay…🎼
The many Affirmations about Being Single, but all the while, there’s an ex or someone that has an open invitation to your vajayjay. One midnight call, and you’re showering, removing the bonnet, brushing your teeth, spraying on that smell good and sliding on your sexiest thongs.
We all have read the social media status of someone claiming to be:
Single & Saved
Single & Content
Single Does Not Equal Lonely
Single but NOT Settling
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of women that are happily single, but on the flip side, there are some that are creeping, and others who don’t consider themselves single, because they have a piece of a man, and will speak of him in terms of “Boo” or “Bae.” You can blame him for participating all day long, but you always have a choice. You’re only responsible for your own actions.
How long will you question why you’re single, before you begin to accept the part you play in your relationship status? Will you keep saying there are no good men; while you contribute to increasing that number, by letting him slip and dip with you in the wee hours of the night, before he returns home to his woman/wife? Will you hide behind the excuse of his woman being stupid for allowing him to do it, or will you just keep lying to yourself, by saying that this actually works for you, because you don’t want a committed relationship? If we’re completely honest with ourselves, no one wants to share, but because of societal and even family pressure, it feels easier to pretend, than to actually face our own naked truth. It’s easier to complain and blame, instead of acceptance and accountability.
You’ll even hear women dog and judge other women, because it throws off the scent off their own stench of deception. Anything done in the dark comes to light, and you definitely reap what you sow.
One thing about them tables, they always turn…
It a vicious cycle that doesn’t always bear the truth, and sometimes the lie begins to feel like the truth, but the caveat to this is, it’s an accepted mentality of not being able to do any better. We can label this behavior, but there are years of insecurities that are associated with it, years of failed relationships that beat down a person’s sense of worth, and it could simply be a mindset of revenge for it happening to them, or it’s a learned behavior from childhood, because it was flaunted as a badge of honor.
No matter how brave someone pretends to be, when the smoke clears, and they’re all alone, there’s a deep sense of loneliness and regret. “This is the last time.” “Next time, I will not answer the phone.” That’s the danger of not having an accountability partner/friend/coach that you can trust, even when the picture is not pretty. They’re not there to judge, they’re there to help you past the hump and make better choices. This is not a process to brave on your own. You need a “Straight No Chaser” friend.
Don’t allow this behavior to become the measure of your fate. We all have the propensity to change, and it comes with faith, forgiveness of self, time and a change of scenery.
Everyone does not define dating the same! What’s on that dreaded ”List” that you cant seem to shake? Don’t make dating a chore. Read up on some tips that might help you to stop making the same mistakes…
CHECK OUT MY LATEST eBook, on the TOP 10 Dating Tips for Men & Women – It’s NOT that Complicated
Dating should never be a chore, and is NOT a cure for loneliness…
How many of us are living our Unadulterated and Unfiltered Truth?
For a better part of my life, I have lived to appease others. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents, so I lived the life they envisioned for me, and from there, it was a domino effect of living in the shadows and expectations of others. I can’t quite pinpoint the moment I stopped living a lie and living to please others, but I knew I was suffocating, and needed to take back my life and power!
It was not easy at first, because the adjustments were more difficult for others than it was for me, but I couldn’t focus on that. What I do remember is how it felt to release years of unwanted weight of acceptance and validation. I finally learned how to comfortably exercise my right to say. “No!”
Last year (2017) I published my first book, My Truth – Short Stories of Joy and Pain. My Truth
In my book, I’m able to share my journey to living My Unfiltered Truth! The good, the bad and the ugly! As I was writing, I have to admit that I shed some tears of joy and pain, because while there were some tough reminders of the process, there were also some celebratory tears of conquering my fears.
I announced and released my book at my event, The Terry D. Experience – Removing the Mask, and it was an experience indeed! There were men and women, alike removing their masks, and sharing their experiences!
Well, 2018 is upon us, and I’ve decided to continue the journey of living my Truth. On Thursday, January 18, I launched The first season of my Live Online Talk Show – The Unfiltered Truth, on Facebook. The Unfiltered Truth Live Talk Show is recorded every Thursday at 8:30pm CST.
You can check out the 1st episode right here:
I invite you to join me on this journey to begin releasing the weight of the past, releasing the need to feel accepted, walking in your own truth and living life on your own terms! Above, I’ve provided a link to purchase my book, as well as the link for you to join me on Thursdays for my Live Online Talk Show!
I look forward to hearing from you about your journey to living a life of liberation!
I am 51 years old, single and I’ve never been married, and somehow that makes me an outcast, an enemy and a societal and cultural statistic and leper!
How many times must I hear?
Are you high maintenance?
Is something wrong with you?
Why are you single?
Why haven’t you ever been married?
Who set the standards and guidelines of when I’m supposed to be a wife? Am I somehow unhappy, and do I not measure up because of it? I didn’t know that my very existence was defined by my relationship status!
I can admit that it’s not always easy being single, and whether subconscious or not, I do sometimes envy couples! It can be embarrassing and exhausting having to answer questions about my dating life. I have settled before, I have had some amazing relationships and I’ve been the reason some of my relationships ended, because of my own internal demons.
Judge me if you will, but if not for these struggles that have kept me up many nights, and choices that I’m not always proud of, I wouldn’t be able to face or admit my shortcomings. It’s my sincere belief that I have been personally chosen for this journey – Good, bad or indifferent, because it fuels my purpose!
I no longer live in shame of me or my relationship status! I don’t have to be defined by what is expected of me by people who live in their own den of lies. It’s liberating to know that I’m being saved for someone that will love the “WHOLE” Terry! Not some superficial, insecure person trying to fit in!
I will not be responsible for a man not believing in love, because of my insecurities, and my own lack of trust. I will stand BOLD and accept my truth, and continue to defy the odds of any time constraints that have been placed on me. I’m a work in progress that accepts me at any juncture in my life, and while it doesn’t bother me, it’s not my problem if it bothers you!
Terry D xoxo
The Holidays can be tough for singles. This is when you see so much love being exemplified among families and even strangers, but the flip side to that is, it is such a depressing time for singles to watch couples relish in their love.
1. If you’re single, spend time with family and friends, attend holiday parties, go to church functions and keep yourself busy. Try to focus on all the many blessings that you have, instead of what you don’t have. When we keep our focus positive, and not allow idle minds to become the devil’s workshop, the possibilities are endless, and who knows, maybe the “single” life may be a distant memory.
2. Volunteer your time to those less fortunate, because as we’re feeling sorry for ourselves, there is always someone that is worse off than us. This usually puts things in perspective for us. Count your…
IamTerryD BLOG with Relationship Coach, Terry D. 