Category Archives: Family

Hiding in Plain Sight


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Kate Spade 1962-2018

Have you ever watched someone’s day-to-day routine, and admire their spirit, their grit and their grace? Feels like they’re always on…right?

Well, sometimes it’s because of their journey of blood, sweat and tears, that affords them the peace to exhale and other times, they’re holding their breath, wearing a mask of deception, because of expectations and fear of judgment and disappointment; not only to others, but to themselves! It’s easy to dress up the pain to a world of superficiality and selfishness.

Dying inside, but outside you’re looking fearless. While the tears are rolling down your cheeks, you steady hoping things don’t fall down this week. ‘Cause if it did, you couldn’t take it!

Tupac Shakur

Like any relationship, there is always a sign(s)… it’s important to have someone that listens with their heart. Someone that will allow you to stumble, but won’t let you fall.

Life becomes a blur of conformity, where you feel like a stranger in your own body! When the noise quiets, and the stranger slowly fades in the background, and suddenly reality and YOU come face-to-face. You can’t hide from yourself, because you know the truth. Life has tasked you with a gift that you don’t feel you deserve! It feels natural, BUT…. your gift becomes a mental burden, yet the perfect disguise and coping mechanism, because it allows you to escape the pain and feeling of worthlessness and no sense of purpose, but it’s all only temporary! Your mask is mistaken and brushed off as pride and strength, or even arrogance!

Life is about service, but you can’t always be the one left feeling depleted! It sends you into an overwhelming frenzy of depression, desperation and haste! Self care is essential, and sometimes that means being selfish. If not, after a while, you accept defeat, and live in a fog – waiting to fade away…

CREATE ME MOMENTS… Moments where you don’t give anything to anyone but YOU!

Terry D.

Countdown to Prince Harry & Meghan Markle’s Wedding Day


I’m sure the anxiety builds around the world, as everyone counts down the days, IMG_4614hours, minutes and seconds to the Wedding Day of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The couple formally announced their engagement on, November 27, 2017, and wasted no time in announcing their wedding date soon after.

The Royal Wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan is set to take place on, Saturday, May 19, 2018, which is unprecedented, because most Royal Weddings are held on a weekday.  st. georgeThe wedding will begin at  St George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle, Windsor, United Kingdom,  at 12 Noon. After the ceremony, they will undertake a carriage procession from St George’s Chapel through Windsor town returning to Windsor Castle along the Long Walk. The couple really wants to make the wedding fun and ensure that the public will feel a sense of inclusion. The reception will be held at St. George’s Hall.

In lieu of wedding presents, the couple is asking for charity donations, but wants to focus on charities for HIV, Homelessness and the children of fallen soldiers, just to name a few. 

Prince Harry and Meghan will definitely bring a breath of fresh air to the traditional expectations.  The public speculates and tries to predict what, if anything will set this couple apart.  Will they follow the rules? Will they be Royal Trendsetters, and how will this change the trajectory of the expected Royal “Norm?” It is reported that the couple is breaking from the ceremonial traditions, and injecting a modern flavor of music. Karen Gibson and the Kingdom Choir — considered one of the top ensembles in the country — have been tapped to perform as has 19-year-old cellist Sheku Kanneh-Mason, who was the first black musician to win the BBC Young Musician of the Year award in 2016. Prince Harry is definitely cut from the the cloth of his late mother, Princess Diana, which was known for, and often frowned upon for setting her own rules.

The initial focal point of everyone except the couple Meghan-Markle-27and their families, was the race of Meghan. Meghan is biracial, and was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA.  Her parents are; mother,  Doria Ragland, who is African American, and her father, Thomas Markle.,  who is Dutch and Irish. Meghan’s father was a longtime TV Lighting Director.

There have been sporadic leaks of information about details of the wedding, but what’s a Royal Wedding without a little suspense and speculation brewing in the rumor mill?

  • Who will design her dress?
  • Who will perform?
  • Who’s the Who of Who on the Guest List?
  • Who will be Meghan’s Bridesmaids?
  • Will Trump attend? Was he even invited?
  • Will the Obamas attend?

With great anticipation and excitement, we’ll all have to wait with the rest of the world, to have our burning questions answered…

Terry D.

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Is Your Truth Buried in a Lie?


We subconsciously live our lives based on what has been fed into our spirits.

How many of us live our lives based on expectations? It’s not easy to keep up appearances for something that was either taught or mimicked!  Despite how much we fight it, our actions and attitude become a reflection of what’s on the inside.

No matter how many lies we bury, the truth will always rear its ugly head. We have repetitive relational behaviors, and it’s easier to blame others, but the truth is; we came to the relationship with baggage that keeps us from fully emotionally connecting. Yes, it’s true that relationships suffer from lack of communication, finances and infidelity, but how much of this is a learned behavior.  No matter how much you don’t want to believe it, words carry power, and we subconsciously replay them in our heads, and as a result, carry them into our adult lives, and they take on a part of our character.

How many times have you heard?

  • Men don’t cry
  • Do as I say, and not as I do
  • Men don’t express their feelings
  • You’re too young to settle down
  • Don’t worry about what he does, as long as he takes care of home
  • Don’t upset him
  • You’re going to be a player
  • Get your money, if you’re going to sleep with someone
  • Always keep you a spare, because everyone cheats

Seemingly harmless statements prove to be just the opposite.

At some point, we have to take ownership for our baggage and choices.  Our learned behaviors are often passed down from generation to generation, and our dysfunctions img_0504become a normality, because accepting and facing the truth means actually having to be accountable.

If two people have been taught the same dysfunctional behaviors, it’s difficult to find balance.  We fight, we become bitter and we look for a scapegoat.  If we’re blessed enough to have someone that was not taught these same behaviors, we emotionally exhaust them, because we become needy, and they not only become a punching bag, but also an emotional receptacle.

Our emotional health has to be a priority.  It will allow us to heal past wounds, release generational curses and function in relationships without fear or waiting for the ball to drop.  The truth really will make you FREE!  Free to LIVE and LOVE on your terms.

If you want to know how I learned to start living my truth, check out my book, My Truth – https://www.amazon.com/My-Truth-Short-Stories-Pain/dp/1478785225/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1508221603&sr=8-1&keywords=my+truth+terry+connor

Terry D.

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This Is Us (The Melting Pot)


Cue the Kleenex please…

The anticipation has been building, and once we saw Sterling K. Brown walk away with img_0323the Emmy, we sat on the edge of our seats, not so patiently awaiting Season 2 of This Is Us!

This show embodies a multitude of layers and facets of love.  It all came by the way of innocence and tragedy – in other words, by God’s design!

This is a show that not only demonstrates that img_0314Black Love is not taboo, but it also defies the stereotypes and shifts the trajectory of how we define love and family.  This is an emotional story that unfolds, and helps viewers to believe in love again.

The death and birth of an infant, would begin this img_0320story of tragedy and triumph of this not so picture perfect American family, as defined by society, but would teach a family that’s not bound by blood, to love without conditions, and equip them with strength for the unexpected.

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Regardless of this Melting Pot Family, it does not negate their love and family dynamic, but rather demonstrates love through the lens of those who feel unloved beyond the lines of color, weight and social status. Their differences are actually what help seal their relationships, without contrived limiting beliefs!

This Is Us teaches us forgiveness and acceptance in the deepest sense!

We’re now a couple of episodes into the new season, and still on the edge of our seats, because it’s so riveting, that it pulls you into their story line, and restores your sense of faith and hope in humanity.

This Is Us airs on NBC on Tuesdays at 9/8 CST

Let me know your thoughts, and please SUBSCRIBE, SHARE, LIKE AND/OR COMMENT!

Terry D.

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