Category Archives: Restoration

QMy 2017 Mid-Year Goals Review


This year has been rewarding and productive, but not without its challenges.  This has been my year of living, “Intentionally.”

JANUARY

hiresbookcoverOn January 19, 2017, I self-published my first book, My Truth.  My Truth is a non-fiction novelette, that will give you an insight into the twists and turns of my personal failures and successes in love and relationships – in hopes to help others in their own journey to healthy love.  I grappled with the idea of baring my soul to the world, but when it was all said and done, I knew my testimony was meant for someone else, so I stopped questioning God’s plan. This project was so much bigger than me, and I couldn’t worry about what others would think of me.  This has been one of the most liberating things I’ve done in my life, and the feedback validates my decision to be obedient.

FEBRUARY

For a few years now, I have been speaking and training for everyone else.  I have Removing the Masktoo (5)attended events of amazing men, women and organizations, where they shared their journey and helped so many others discover their purpose.  I knew I had it in me to do the same, but I allowed fear to cripple me.  It was all I could think and talk about, but I made every excuse in the book, to avoid actually acting on my passion.  Finally, I just began researching, planning, preparing and executing. I only shared it with a select few, because I didn’t want any reason not to follow through.  I had a plan, an agenda and a budget.  Searching for venues was not an easy task, but I was all in.  I looked and I looked and I looked. Finally, I booked the venue, paid my deposit and just like that, there was no turning back. It was really happening – February 4 to be exact.

16700454_10211535345275990_4956978693545354350_oTo say the least, it was surreal and rewarding, but not because I finally did it, but because of the real masks that were removed and the lives that were transformed.  Men and women alike, shared their unadulterated truth, and it became a domino effect of testimonials.   It was an experience indeed, and no one left there the same way they arrived.  16487307_10211535353436194_1054744811513003740_oSpirits were renewed, and the attendees left with a sense of purpose and hope – knowing they’re not alone in their journey to wholeness, removing their masks without shame and Living their Truth!

MARCH

March gave me a moment to catch my breath, reflect, and  shift my gears to 2nd Quarter goals, obligations and commitments.  I used this time to refuel and follow up on the progress of  some clients I was coaching and confirm engagements.  On March 25, I was the img_0616Keynote Speaker for the “Unapologetically Me” Women’s Luncheon, hosted by Nikita Legrone of Exclusive Extraordinary Events.

While I was there to impart knowledge and pour into other women, it was humbling to hear their, “WHY!”

  • Why they had to make their way there
  • Why they had lost hope
  • Why they felt God had given up on them

APRIL & MAY

Can you say, “RESET?” Not that I’m ever allowed to take it off, but it was time to put on my full Mommy hat.  I had to switch gears, and focus on my personal img_0109obligations.  I am the very proud Mom of my mini me. It was planning time for my daughter’s Prom and Graduation.  I did not plan much during these months, because she img_0620deserved all of my uninterrupted and full attention.   Such proud moments that you can never get back, have to be your priority.  I enjoyed every moment of watching her come into her own over the years, and the reward of watching her get transformed into a princess for Prom is indescribable.   The pride of img_0621-1watching your daughter who the doctors said wouldn’t make it to see the age of 18, had me up plenty of nights in this season, with tear stained pillows of joy and gratitude for God’s mercy!

 

JUNE

img_0547I’m still recovering from the Prom and Graduation festivities, but she’s over it and me by now.  I guess it’s back to business as usual. This is not the time to chill.  I have the remainder of my year accounted for and planned.  I’m now planning for 2018.  I’ve done some photo shoots to plan for upcoming promotions and doing my due diligence for upcoming opportunities.  After all of that, I doimg_0610 take time to pour back into me.  It’s a continued struggle to have work-life balance, but it’s necessary for your sanity, and not to become overwhelmed.  I have to make some me/we time, and img_0521ensure I’m not taking my daughter for granted…

Stay tuned for upcoming events for the remainder of 2017!

 

 

 

 

 

Terry D.

 

Living  S I N G L E 


I find that the majority of single women spend their time trying to figure out how to become a wife, and losing themselves in the interim, and not enjoying the “As I Am” moments and perks; because becoming good enough for someone else makes them neglect self love and self care!  Life still has to be lived, and it’s in those moments, that you discover exactly who you are.


Love does not just belong to someone else. It’s about experiencing it first hand – with YOU! When we learn to love ourselves, and in turn, begin to share that love with someone special, we make sacrifices and we compromise.

Explore you – INSIDE and OUT!  Take risks and see the beauty of the world and life through your own lense! 

It’s not to suggest that you won’t enjoy the same amenities with someone else, but don’t wait on someone else for life to begin.  LIVE LIFE OUT LOUD and with purpose!

Your zest for life and love for self will be infectious.  It creates organic and tangible allure.

Don’t allow the blurred lines of society’s pressure to fit in, deter you!  Your blessing is ONLY meant for you.

Stay Focused – Don’t Settle – Fools Rush In…


Terry D.

Coach|Speaker|Author

Joy and Pain


Our first experience with love starts at a very early age. It shapes our belief in it, or it makes us question everything about it. Our thoughts about love are being formed well before we even understand what true love really is. Our loved ones that mold our thoughts are not aware that they’re creating a generation of curses or blessings.

As we begin to experience love for ourselves, it usually starts out like a fairytale, but we never really come to understand why we pick the lovers we do, or why we react in certain circumstances until a few failed attempts, and we realize it might just be us subconsciously self-sabotaging, because of our limiting beliefs about love and what we do or don’t deserve. It takes time to look within, because it’s difficult to think that something or someone in our childhood could be responsible for our adult dysfunctions and relational behavior.

It’s a cycle of joy and pain, but it definitely teaches us more about who we are, and as we heal, it allows us to be the change that our future generations will benefit from. We’re taught that experience is a good teacher, and I couldn’t agree more, but I also believe that we don’t always have to experience everything first hand.

Terry D.

Resist the devil, and he will flee… 


So you’re single and learning to love the skin you’re in.  All is well with you and your singlesness! Until… after some years of purging, healing, forgiveness and restoration, here comes the test – dressed in a nice suit, standing 6’4″ tall, smelling good and saying all the right things.  It’s your EX! 

Well well well… I’m convinced they can smell your “Im over you” a mile away.  Now the prey begins.  See, when you wanted them to be the hunter, they could barely muster up enough energy to even call you once a day. 

One day as you’re minding your own business, you receive a text out of no where – “Hey!” or “I miss you!” You wipe your eyes, and whisper a few choice words in your head, and I’m sure a few out loud!  Now what? Hey? I miss you? Man listen!  You gather your composure, and start to wonder what he wants. Your mind begins to play tricks on you, and you contemplate whether or not to respond.  

Take your fingers off that trigger.

First phase: Reminiscing about the good times, because you’ve conveniently suppressed the bad ones. You say to yourself, “He did kiss good!”  “I remember when…” 

If you stay here too long, you will find yourself back in the saddle, and that kiss doesn’t feel so good, because the reason you initially broke up, will resurface.  The “Hey” text was just to test the waters to see if you would take the bait!  I’m not saying it can’t work, but when someone really wants you, they GO HARD!  They take the risk that you may say no. A grown man will not text you to rekindle or to see if you’re still interested! 

Phase two:  You start looking for at least one person to validate your foolishness and give you the green light to text him back.  You begin sharing this with your girlfriends.  Girl, can you believe he texted me after all of this time?  There will be at least one out of the three that will cosign, but the other two will hell nawwwww you right out of it!  

We look for reasons to respond, and we need someone else to tell us it’s okay. When you have to ask, you already know there’s a problem.

When you’ve gone through a period of purge, healing, forgiveness and restoration, there will always be something or someone to test your grit. It’s up to you what you will and will not allow. Sometimes it’s just to show us our strength, resilience and restraint, and not to punish us, or give us a reason to revisit the pain!  Trust that your healing has equipped you with the ability to see the situation with a different pair of lenses.  

When someone attempts to come back in your life, and they’re not serious, they will automatically notice the change, but they’ll also use every chance they get to remind you of who you used to be, as to attempt to undermine your current mindset. It sometimes becomes the euphoria of the chase and the challenge of changing your no to yes. 

James 4:7 Resist the devil, and he will flee…

We all become vulnerable at times.  Even if the temptation gets the best of you – no worries, you will be able to tap into your source of faith and peace.  It’s doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just gives you another lesson that will be unambiguous to you in the future.

Terry D. 

Mo’Nique And Loni Love Have Emotional Reconciliation On ‘The Real’ — HelloBeautiful


Repairing Relationships between US (Black Girls)

Often things are said out of frustration, or without all of the information, but not always with malice.  Do we take the time to repair, or do we just judge and remove ourselves?  Monique was mature enough to go to the source, not spew hatred and spread rumors and allow things to snowball out of control, but to express her disdain and allow healing and restoration.

Consider the one time that you may have said something you didn’t mean, or allowed something that was not meant to be slander, but was taken out of context.

I can completely identify, because I recently had a friendship to almost end.  Not because of anything that was said, but because of our lack of communication.  I thought more of my friendship than I did of my pride.  No one is perfect – not even you…  USE YOUR WORDS – I’m sorry!  I was wrong!  Thank you!  Forgive me! I understand!  I forgive you!  Healing starts with you.

Terry D.

Mo’Nique recently stopped by “The Real” and had an emotional reconciliation with co-host Loni Love. The Almost Christmas actress opened up about a misunderstanding the two had and how they eventually got past it in a healthy and mature way. “The reason Loni and I had to hold onto each other for minute is because we could have experienced a horrible…

via Mo’Nique And Loni Love Have Emotional Reconciliation On ‘The Real’ — HelloBeautiful