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This year has been rewarding and productive, but not without its challenges. This has been my year of living, “Intentionally.”
On January 19, 2017, I self-published my first book, My Truth. My Truth is a non-fiction novelette, that will give you an insight into the twists and turns of my personal failures and successes in love and relationships – in hopes to help others in their own journey to healthy love. I grappled with the idea of baring my soul to the world, but when it was all said and done, I knew my testimony was meant for someone else, so I stopped questioning God’s plan. This project was so much bigger than me, and I couldn’t worry about what others would think of me. This has been one of the most liberating things I’ve done in my life, and the feedback validates my decision to be obedient.
For a few years now, I have been speaking and training for everyone else. I have 
attended events of amazing men, women and organizations, where they shared their journey and helped so many others discover their purpose. I knew I had it in me to do the same, but I allowed fear to cripple me. It was all I could think and talk about, but I made every excuse in the book, to avoid actually acting on my passion. Finally, I just began researching, planning, preparing and executing. I only shared it with a select few, because I didn’t want any reason not to follow through. I had a plan, an agenda and a budget. Searching for venues was not an easy task, but I was all in. I looked and I looked and I looked. Finally, I booked the venue, paid my deposit and just like that, there was no turning back. It was really happening – February 4 to be exact.
To say the least, it was surreal and rewarding, but not because I finally did it, but because of the real masks that were removed and the lives that were transformed. Men and women alike, shared their unadulterated truth, and it became a domino effect of testimonials. It was an experience indeed, and no one left there the same way they arrived. 
Spirits were renewed, and the attendees left with a sense of purpose and hope – knowing they’re not alone in their journey to wholeness, removing their masks without shame and Living their Truth!
March gave me a moment to catch my breath, reflect, and shift my gears to 2nd Quarter goals, obligations and commitments. I used this time to refuel and follow up on the progress of some clients I was coaching and confirm engagements. On March 25, I was the 
Keynote Speaker for the “Unapologetically Me” Women’s Luncheon, hosted by Nikita Legrone of Exclusive Extraordinary Events.
While I was there to impart knowledge and pour into other women, it was humbling to hear their, “WHY!”
Can you say, “RESET?” Not that I’m ever allowed to take it off, but it was time to put on my full Mommy hat. I had to switch gears, and focus on my personal 
obligations. I am the very proud Mom of my mini me. It was planning time for my daughter’s Prom and Graduation. I did not plan much during these months, because she 
deserved all of my uninterrupted and full attention. Such proud moments that you can never get back, have to be your priority. I enjoyed every moment of watching her come into her own over the years, and the reward of watching her get transformed into a princess for Prom is indescribable. The pride of 
watching your daughter who the doctors said wouldn’t make it to see the age of 18, had me up plenty of nights in this season, with tear stained pillows of joy and gratitude for God’s mercy!
I’m still recovering from the Prom and Graduation festivities, but she’s over it and me by now. I guess it’s back to business as usual. This is not the time to chill. I have the remainder of my year accounted for and planned. I’m now planning for 2018. I’ve done some photo shoots to plan for upcoming promotions and doing my due diligence for upcoming opportunities. After all of that, I do
take time to pour back into me. It’s a continued struggle to have work-life balance, but it’s necessary for your sanity, and not to become overwhelmed. I have to make some me/we time, and 
ensure I’m not taking my daughter for granted…
Stay tuned for upcoming events for the remainder of 2017!
There has been a great deal of stories looming about Black Women and their singleness, or lack of chances to get married. An African-American Author, Ralph Richard Banks wrote a book entitled, Is Marriage for White People? : How the African-American Marriage Decline affects everyone. In this non-fiction book, he writes, “Single is the new black!” He also recommends that African-American women open themselves up to be willing to enter serious relationships with men of other races and backgrounds, and he argues this will improve black men and women alike. Needless to say, the African-American community strongly disagrees, but there are some that would argue this same case. There are statistics out there that say that 42.4 % of African-American Women will not get married, which is from an old US, Census. In 2014 the US Census Bureau cited; 86% of 
Black Men have a Black Wife, and 94% Black Women have a Black Husband.
We also have a video circulating, The Myth of the Single Black Female, which gives you an insight into how the media has spread this information for years, and how we as blacks are accepting this as our truth. The disparity in the numbers are alarming. WHO ARE THEY TALKING TO?
It seems to me that the more educated African-American men and women are, the more attractive and accepted they are to other races, even in the case of them not intellectually measuring up themselves. As blacks, we have begun to feed into these fallacies and consider other races as a prize, and the more we attain, the further away we move away from our own men and women. We expect more and place more stipulations on black men and women that we date, than we do on non-blacks. We have to be a certain kind of dresser, we have to look a certain way, our hair has to be a certain way, and even after all these years, we still are battling color lines within our own race. The Light vs. Dark! That is a stigma that goes back to slavery days, where the light were allowed in the house, while the dark had to stay outside.
The problem lies within our own issues within our culture. Our inability to identify what we lack, and that it is not as complicated as others would have us to think. As long as someone can plant a seed of negativity, and make Black Women Believe That It’s Time to Give Up on Black Men is misguided and disrespectful.
None of this is to suggest that there is a problem with interracial relationships in the least bit, but it does raise the question, of why we’re led to believe that within our own community, that we believe it’s okay to mistreat black men and women, or judge them, just because you choose not to be with them. It creates a form of dissension and resentment. Your mother, sister, aunt and not to mention, your daughters are watching and taking notes.
African American Couples who are making it work, despite the statistics and stereotypes:
President Obama & First Lady Michelle Obama 
What are your thoughts?
Coach Terry D.
Laugh together…
Play together…
Cuddle…
Don’t stop dating…
Never take the little things for granted…
Terry D.
After watching (BET’s, “The Game”), it really started me to thinking about women over 40 who are single! Do we begin settling from frustration and fear of being alone after a certain age? I watched Tasha Mack (BET’s, “The Game”) as she visibly became frustrated and defeated from not having a significant other. In fact, she became so frustrated that she unknowingly hired an escort for sexual favors, but even after finding out, after a brief moment of anger, she agreed to continue paying this gentleman for his “services.” It was a sad display of despondency to witness, and became even more undignified. She looked unraveled and desperate to say the least. While some felt a sense of empathy for her, others felt like she did what she had to do. Men can sniff out desperation a mile away, and if they have no true substance, they will take advantage of that moment to pounce.
Although it wasn’t a pleasant scene to watch, it is the reality for some! Not as far as to pay an escort, but just to seek desperate measures in order to have the company of a man. Her motives weren’t so much that she wanted to have a full-time partner, but she just wanted her sexual needs met – which is another talk show. It’s so easy to mistake sex for intimacy when we are jaded by a lonely heart. If I can speak for most women, we would prefer intimacy over sex. NEWS FLASH – They are not one in the same!
There is a difference in being alone and being lonely. Some people have problems with being alone, and will settle for being involved in a not so satisfying relationship as an end to a means; and when you’re lonely you make remorseful and illogical decisions. The acceptance of degradation of women has actually become our norm and desensitized us to respect ourselves. The message from this show should not have been admiration or to mimic the actions of this actress, but to check yourself where you stand! It has been my experience that we love uttering the words, “my boyfriend.” You can almost always identify a new relationship, or even a person that needs to be validated by having someone in their life, because they will always find a way to work the subject of their “boyfriend” in the conversation.
Don’t allow loneliness or desperation to alter your character.
What are your thoughts?
-Terry D.
Brawls In Africa! RHOA Season 4 Episode 12 Recap | AskDrO.com.
While I’m sure I’m in the minority when I say, “I’m embarrassed” by the gratuitous and ill-mannered displays of ignorance that recommence on Reality shows that exploit African-Americans. RHWOA, Bad Girls Club, Basketball Wives and Love and Hip Hop, have replaced sitcoms and become as addictive as nicotine. Why has it become okay to glamorize ignorance? Once again, African-American women matching the bestowed stereotypical loud mouth, materialistic gold diggers; young women who almost compete in exchanging 3, 4 or 5 letter word expletives to up the other and women who accept cheating and adultery – not to mention glamorizing blatant violence. I know that smut sells, but in the end, you’re just another Reality Show ‘has been’ disappearing into the land of “Who really cares!”
As I listen to these women brag about their self-proclaimed fabulousity, and countless designer possessions, none of this negates the ignorance shamelessly exhibited from week to week. None of the labels can replace your integrity. The actual reality is, we can’t blame anyone for the exploitation, if we sign up for it. When you’re stripped of the Gucci, Christian Louboutin and Chanel, all that’s left is an empty shell and your 15 seconds of fame. We all like nice things, but why do they define us, and make us judgmental toward those who don’t have as much as you? You’re laying claim and proudly fighting over something you’ve hardly earned, but instead pimped yourself out to attain. It’s the ladies who actually earn their own fame and fortune that rarely validate themselves by their worldly goods.
Our impressionable youth begin to watch these shameful shows and become desensitized to respect. Most of these women (I use the term loosely) have children of their own, but I guess the almighty dollar supersede their children and reputation. While we had women of character who paved the way for us; we in turn pave a path of destruction for the young women that follow us? We criticize our youth, but they can only ensue the path that has been instituted.
-Terry D.
Interracial marriage in US hits new high: 1 in 12.
I’m perplexed by the range of controversial conversations that continue to center around interracial relationships. Even in the year 2012, it’s still a button pusher. As I poll African-American women and men, the conversations instantly heat up. Most, but not all African-American women are indifferent to interracial relationships, because they feel it lessens their chances at finding a significant other. On the other hand, are you limiting your own chances at love, if you only want to date one race? African-American men are not as opposed, but say that the moment they see “their” women with a man from another race, it immediately triggers a sense of betrayal.
The US Census Bureau reports that 17.1% blacks and 9.4% whites who married in 2010 has a spouse of a different race! Out of 275,500 new interracial marriages in 2010:
In all, it goes on to state that 15% of new marriages are interracial, and that African-Americans, the younger generation and higher educated are more likely to marry outside of their race. Are these statistics indicative that acceptance is more prevalent, or that society has decided not to care what others think when it comes to their personal love life?
Are Americans of any race/culture being criticized and ostracized for their preference to love freely? It’s almost as if you’re being told that your heart should only love one color. It is true that you have more in common with your own race, but that’s why the world is made up of so many different people. It would make for a boring world if we were all the same.
-Terry D.
IamTerryD BLOG with Relationship Coach, Terry D. 