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I am 51 years old, single and I’ve never been married, and somehow that makes me an outcast, an enemy and a societal and cultural statistic and leper!
How many times must I hear?
Who set the standards and guidelines of when I’m supposed to be a wife? Am I somehow unhappy, and do I not measure up because of it? I didn’t know that my very existence was defined by my relationship status!
I can admit that it’s not always easy being single, and whether subconscious or not, I do sometimes envy couples! It can be embarrassing and exhausting having to answer questions about my dating life. I have settled before, I have had some amazing relationships and I’ve been the reason some of my relationships ended, because of my own internal demons.
Judge me if you will, but if not for these struggles that have kept me up many nights, and choices that I’m not always proud of, I wouldn’t be able to face or admit my shortcomings. It’s my sincere belief that I have been personally chosen for this journey – Good, bad or indifferent, because it fuels my purpose!
I no longer live in shame of me or my relationship status! I don’t have to be defined by what is expected of me by people who live in their own den of lies. It’s liberating to know that I’m being saved for someone that will love the “WHOLE” Terry! Not some superficial, insecure person trying to fit in!
I will not be responsible for a man not believing in love, because of my insecurities, and my own lack of trust. I will stand BOLD and accept my truth, and continue to defy the odds of any time constraints that have been placed on me. I’m a work in progress that accepts me at any juncture in my life, and while it doesn’t bother me, it’s not my problem if it bothers you!
Terry D
xoxo
We subconsciously live our lives based on what has been fed into our spirits.
How many of us live our lives based on expectations? It’s not easy to keep up appearances for something that was either taught or mimicked! Despite how much we fight it, our actions and attitude become a reflection of what’s on the inside.
No matter how many lies we bury, the truth will always rear its ugly head. We have repetitive relational behaviors, and it’s easier to blame others, but the truth is; we came to the relationship with baggage that keeps us from fully emotionally connecting. Yes, it’s true that relationships suffer from lack of communication, finances and infidelity, but how much of this is a learned behavior. No matter how much you don’t want to believe it, words carry power, and we subconsciously replay them in our heads, and as a result, carry them into our adult lives, and they take on a part of our character.
How many times have you heard?
Seemingly harmless statements prove to be just the opposite.
At some point, we have to take ownership for our baggage and choices. Our learned behaviors are often passed down from generation to generation, and our dysfunctions 
become a normality, because accepting and facing the truth means actually having to be accountable.
If two people have been taught the same dysfunctional behaviors, it’s difficult to find balance. We fight, we become bitter and we look for a scapegoat. If we’re blessed enough to have someone that was not taught these same behaviors, we emotionally exhaust them, because we become needy, and they not only become a punching bag, but also an emotional receptacle.
Our emotional health has to be a priority. It will allow us to heal past wounds, release generational curses and function in relationships without fear or waiting for the ball to drop. The truth really will make you FREE! Free to LIVE and LOVE on your terms.
If you want to know how I learned to start living my truth, check out my book, My Truth – https://www.amazon.com/My-Truth-Short-Stories-Pain/dp/1478785225/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1508221603&sr=8-1&keywords=my+truth+terry+connor
Terry D.
IamTerryD BLOG with Relationship Coach, Terry D. 