Tag Archives: Marriage

Don’t Just Stop At I Love You…


Love is not new, and it doesn’t have to be reinvented, but you do have to put in the work.   It’s not something that you pray for, and STOP there. 

Complacency is the enemy of achieving a solid foundation.   I don’t care how long you’ve been with someone, it doesn’t give you a license to:

1.  Quit caring about their feelings
2.  Caring about your appearance
3.  Communicating your feelings
4.  Stop dating one another
5.  Stop complimenting one another
6.  Stop having fun
7.  Stop loving them like it was the 1st time

This journey is not for the faint at heart, or those who have no staying power.  You have to be in this, and be willing to put in the work.

Your #$@& does stink, and so you have to learn to put up with a few things that may not always smell like roses, and you may get a few pricks along the way, but keep planting seeds of love, endurance and patience!   Love keeps no record of wrong.  Let that ish go, and on to the next! 

Don’t just stop at I love you. Love is an action word…

Terry D.
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Open Relationships – “On A Break”


I was watching a talk show, and the subject was, “Open Relationships.” I tried to listen with an open mind, but the more justifications I heard from the Sex Expert,
http://www.bet.com/video/just-keke/2014/exclusives/shannon-t-boodram-breaks-down-open-relationships.html the more I wondered, What the what? Her explanation behind the reasoning of these relationships was, “With there being a new generation, and they don’t stay in anything too long, it’s only natural that they would not commit to a relationship.” Well, what makes it natural to be in an open relationship?  It was, to say the least, disturbing, to hear an “Expert” justify and plant this type of seed into today’s generation. We all see how that worked out for both Dwayne Wade http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20770629,00.html and Ludacris. http://bossip.com/888989/another-year-another-love-child-ludacris-fathered-secret-baby-during-break-from-eudoxie/ They both ended up with babies during their “Break.”

Open Relationship, is just a way of saying, I want to be with you, but everyone else also, and when I’m tired of playing around, we’ll go back to being monogamous. I believe that women have conformed to this foolishness and nonsense, to fool themselves into believing that it’s okay, because otherwise, they might find themselves alone, or if they think that it might be headed in that direction anyway, they propose the concept first. Let’s just stay right there, because essentially, you are alone until they’re done with the other person/people.  Not to say that there aren’t any, but there aren’t a lot of women that are willing to share their man, just to have a piece of one.

Is nothing sacred any longer? Marriage is now a convenience, or maybe even more of a fad, because if it doesn’t work, we can just have an open marriage, and trade up for a better model.

So, we’ve decided to take a break, and now you get to fool around with someone else, and not to mention, you don’t even have enough respect for me and my body, to use protection, which is evident, because you’ve gotten someone else pregnant.

So the expert’s take is, because marriages aren’t working, it’s time to do something different. The different is only going to further drive the divorce rate up, and make young adults think, that commitment is fleeting, which flows into all areas of their lives. She goes on to further compare the younger generation to not keeping jobs long, and the same serves for relationships.

An Open Relationship is just an excuse to cheat. It’s no different than being single. Who wants to be in a relationship, and feel like they’re single?  It’s seems like people who want to be monogamous, are now becoming the minority.

No matter the generation, year or time, morals and values should never be dismissed, and there are so many repercussions for this behavior. I’m not going to play russian roulette with my mental, spiritual or physical well-being.

What are your thoughts?

Terry D.<img src=”https://lovechaptersdotnet.files.wordpress.com

Enlarge Your Territory


Don’t deviate – say what you mean, and mean what you say – enough of the foolishness. Why is it so easy to just ward off what you want? Yes, love is about compromise and sacrifice, but doesn’t compromise mean that both people should be involved?  

If you want to be married, then you need to say so, be unapologetic and STOP negotiating your happiness.  Dating is not a career, unless that’s what you want.  Why would you date someone for years, give them everything that encompasses marriage, but never require the commitment.  “Why marry the cow, when you can get the milk for free is REAL!”  It seems to be a new trend for women to claim men as their husband, and nothing could be further from the truth! My hubby this, my hubby that.  Yeah, you feel like the wife, because for all intent and purposes, it’s the role you’re “playing.”

So let me get this right.  He’s afraid of commitment, but doesn’t have a problem with shacking with you, having sex, paying bills together, attending family functions, even owning a house and car together, and I’m sorry, but maybe I’m a little slow… Isn’t that commitment?

Maybe you’re afraid of losing them, maybe you’re afraid you’ll have to be alone, but guess what, news flash:  how can you lose what you really don’t have.  Look at it like this – if something ever happened to either of you, what would now happen to the things you’ve attained together?

You don’t live forever, and while you’re here, you matter as well be able to operate  in what makes your heart happy.  Now that ‘s not to say that we marry just anyone, but find someone who you can be friends with, someone you have some things in common with.

Set expectations and treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Dress to impress you, and if you want to honestly attract someone who will value you, you should actually be worried about what others think.  You’re auditioning for your future, not a video.  Honestly, sometimes we tell ourselves we want things out loud, but inside, we secretly don’t believe it, so that actually supersedes what your mouth is saying, and it shows, even when we’re masking the pain and discontent that we often subconsciously harbor.

We teach others how to treat us by our language, our own expectations, our values, the way we dress and the people we surround ourselves around.

Enlarge Your Territory

Terry D.