Tag Archives: Terry D.

This Is Us (The Melting Pot)


Cue the Kleenex please…

The anticipation has been building, and once we saw Sterling K. Brown walk away with img_0323the Emmy, we sat on the edge of our seats, not so patiently awaiting Season 2 of This Is Us!

This show embodies a multitude of layers and facets of love.  It all came by the way of innocence and tragedy – in other words, by God’s design!

This is a show that not only demonstrates that img_0314Black Love is not taboo, but it also defies the stereotypes and shifts the trajectory of how we define love and family.  This is an emotional story that unfolds, and helps viewers to believe in love again.

The death and birth of an infant, would begin this img_0320story of tragedy and triumph of this not so picture perfect American family, as defined by society, but would teach a family that’s not bound by blood, to love without conditions, and equip them with strength for the unexpected.

img_0317

Regardless of this Melting Pot Family, it does not negate their love and family dynamic, but rather demonstrates love through the lens of those who feel unloved beyond the lines of color, weight and social status. Their differences are actually what help seal their relationships, without contrived limiting beliefs!

This Is Us teaches us forgiveness and acceptance in the deepest sense!

We’re now a couple of episodes into the new season, and still on the edge of our seats, because it’s so riveting, that it pulls you into their story line, and restores your sense of faith and hope in humanity.

This Is Us airs on NBC on Tuesdays at 9/8 CST

Let me know your thoughts, and please SUBSCRIBE, SHARE, LIKE AND/OR COMMENT!

Terry D.

21751336_10213656614866404_8775508300733083557_n

 

 

The Relationship Hour


What is The Relationship Hour?

  • It’s an hour of peeling back the layers of the “Representative!”
  • An hour of transformation
  • An hour of transparency
  • An hour of healing
  • An hour of discovery
  • An hour of release
  • An hour of laying the foundation

We made our announcement on Sunday, July 9, about our 6 week LIVE Facebook pilot, The Relationship Hour, with Relationship Coaches and Authors, Kay S. And Terry D.!

Over the course of the next six weeks, (Five of which will be on Facebook Live and the Sixth week will give viewers an opportunity to join us in person for their questions and an UNCUT, UNCENSORED AND UNABBREVIATED HOUR or two) we will be transparent and brutally honest about our own relationship foibles, and while we’re not perfect, we have come to learn our own Love Language, identify our unhealthy relationship triggers and we’re sharing how you can learn to love you and accept that you don’t have to be perfect to have love, and be okay with moving beyond and forgiving yourself and others.

We’re also bringing a  practical and simplistic, but in your face approach to developing and sustaining a healthy relationship!  What does that even look like?  Everyone does not define healthy love the same, because if you have seen your parents or family members be dysfunctional or even abusive, and that’s all you know – GUESS WHAT?  That’s your healthy version of love.

There are components that make up the foundation for a healthy
and sustainable relationship!  We did not say perfect, and we didn’t say it would be a cake walk, but it will propel you into your purpose as an individual, and how you can dispel and peel back those layers of not feeling loved without someone else giving you that validation.

Join us every week on Facebook Live on Sundays, starting July 16 at 7pm at The Relationship Hour.

Terry D.

 

 

 

 

My 2017 Mid-Year Goals Review


This year has been rewarding and productive, but not without its challenges.  This has been my year of living, “Intentionally.”

JANUARY

hiresbookcoverOn January 19, 2017, I self-published my first book, My Truth.  My Truth is a non-fiction novelette, that will give you an insight into the twists and turns of my personal failures and successes in love and relationships – in hopes to help others in their own journey to healthy love.  I grappled with the idea of baring my soul to the world, but when it was all said and done, I knew my testimony was meant for someone else, so I stopped questioning God’s plan. This project was so much bigger than me, and I couldn’t worry about what others would think of me.  This has been one of the most liberating things I’ve done in my life, and the feedback validates my decision to be obedient.

FEBRUARY

For a few years now, I have been speaking and training for everyone else.  I have Removing the Masktoo (5)attended events of amazing men, women and organizations, where they shared their journey and helped so many others discover their purpose.  I knew I had it in me to do the same, but I allowed fear to cripple me.  It was all I could think and talk about, but I made every excuse in the book, to avoid actually acting on my passion.  Finally, I just began researching, planning, preparing and executing. I only shared it with a select few, because I didn’t want any reason not to follow through.  I had a plan, an agenda and a budget.  Searching for venues was not an easy task, but I was all in.  I looked and I looked and I looked. Finally, I booked the venue, paid my deposit and just like that, there was no turning back. It was really happening – February 4 to be exact.

16700454_10211535345275990_4956978693545354350_oTo say the least, it was surreal and rewarding, but not because I finally did it, but because of the real masks that were removed and the lives that were transformed.  Men and women alike, shared their unadulterated truth, and it became a domino effect of testimonials.   It was an experience indeed, and no one left there the same way they arrived.  16487307_10211535353436194_1054744811513003740_oSpirits were renewed, and the attendees left with a sense of purpose and hope – knowing they’re not alone in their journey to wholeness, removing their masks without shame and Living their Truth!

MARCH

March gave me a moment to catch my breath, reflect, and  shift my gears to 2nd Quarter goals, obligations and commitments.  I used this time to refuel and follow up on the progress of  some clients I was coaching and confirm engagements.  On March 25, I was the img_0616Keynote Speaker for the “Unapologetically Me” Women’s Luncheon, hosted by Nikita Legrone of Exclusive Extraordinary Events.

While I was there to impart knowledge and pour into other women, it was humbling to hear their, “WHY!”

  • Why they had to make their way there
  • Why they had lost hope
  • Why they felt God had given up on them

APRIL & MAY

Can you say, “RESET?” Not that I’m ever allowed to take it off, but it was time to put on my full Mommy hat.  I had to switch gears, and focus on my personal img_0109obligations.  I am the very proud Mom of my mini me. It was planning time for my daughter’s Prom and Graduation.  I did not plan much during these months, because she img_0620deserved all of my uninterrupted and full attention.   Such proud moments that you can never get back, have to be your priority.  I enjoyed every moment of watching her come into her own over the years, and the reward of watching her get transformed into a princess for Prom is indescribable.   The pride of img_0621-1watching your daughter who the doctors said wouldn’t make it to see the age of 18, had me up plenty of nights in this season, with tear stained pillows of joy and gratitude for God’s mercy!

 

JUNE

img_0547I’m still recovering from the Prom and Graduation festivities, but she’s over it and me by now.  I guess it’s back to business as usual. This is not the time to chill.  I have the remainder of my year accounted for and planned.  I’m now planning for 2018.  I’ve done some photo shoots to plan for upcoming promotions and doing my due diligence for upcoming opportunities.  After all of that, I doimg_0610 take time to pour back into me.  It’s a continued struggle to have work-life balance, but it’s necessary for your sanity, and not to become overwhelmed.  I have to make some me/we time, and img_0521ensure I’m not taking my daughter for granted…

Stay tuned for upcoming events for the remainder of 2017!

 

 

 

 

 

Terry D.

 

Living  S I N G L E 


I find that the majority of single women spend their time trying to figure out how to become a wife, and losing themselves in the interim, and not enjoying the “As I Am” moments and perks; because becoming good enough for someone else makes them neglect self love and self care!  Life still has to be lived, and it’s in those moments, that you discover exactly who you are.


Love does not just belong to someone else. It’s about experiencing it first hand – with YOU! When we learn to love ourselves, and in turn, begin to share that love with someone special, we make sacrifices and we compromise.

Explore you – INSIDE and OUT!  Take risks and see the beauty of the world and life through your own lense! 

It’s not to suggest that you won’t enjoy the same amenities with someone else, but don’t wait on someone else for life to begin.  LIVE LIFE OUT LOUD and with purpose!

Your zest for life and love for self will be infectious.  It creates organic and tangible allure.

Don’t allow the blurred lines of society’s pressure to fit in, deter you!  Your blessing is ONLY meant for you.

Stay Focused – Don’t Settle – Fools Rush In…


Terry D.

Coach|Speaker|Author

Resist the devil, and he will flee… 


So you’re single and learning to love the skin you’re in.  All is well with you and your singlesness! Until… after some years of purging, healing, forgiveness and restoration, here comes the test – dressed in a nice suit, standing 6’4″ tall, smelling good and saying all the right things.  It’s your EX! 

Well well well… I’m convinced they can smell your “Im over you” a mile away.  Now the prey begins.  See, when you wanted them to be the hunter, they could barely muster up enough energy to even call you once a day. 

One day as you’re minding your own business, you receive a text out of no where – “Hey!” or “I miss you!” You wipe your eyes, and whisper a few choice words in your head, and I’m sure a few out loud!  Now what? Hey? I miss you? Man listen!  You gather your composure, and start to wonder what he wants. Your mind begins to play tricks on you, and you contemplate whether or not to respond.  

Take your fingers off that trigger.

First phase: Reminiscing about the good times, because you’ve conveniently suppressed the bad ones. You say to yourself, “He did kiss good!”  “I remember when…” 

If you stay here too long, you will find yourself back in the saddle, and that kiss doesn’t feel so good, because the reason you initially broke up, will resurface.  The “Hey” text was just to test the waters to see if you would take the bait!  I’m not saying it can’t work, but when someone really wants you, they GO HARD!  They take the risk that you may say no. A grown man will not text you to rekindle or to see if you’re still interested! 

Phase two:  You start looking for at least one person to validate your foolishness and give you the green light to text him back.  You begin sharing this with your girlfriends.  Girl, can you believe he texted me after all of this time?  There will be at least one out of the three that will cosign, but the other two will hell nawwwww you right out of it!  

We look for reasons to respond, and we need someone else to tell us it’s okay. When you have to ask, you already know there’s a problem.

When you’ve gone through a period of purge, healing, forgiveness and restoration, there will always be something or someone to test your grit. It’s up to you what you will and will not allow. Sometimes it’s just to show us our strength, resilience and restraint, and not to punish us, or give us a reason to revisit the pain!  Trust that your healing has equipped you with the ability to see the situation with a different pair of lenses.  

When someone attempts to come back in your life, and they’re not serious, they will automatically notice the change, but they’ll also use every chance they get to remind you of who you used to be, as to attempt to undermine your current mindset. It sometimes becomes the euphoria of the chase and the challenge of changing your no to yes. 

James 4:7 Resist the devil, and he will flee…

We all become vulnerable at times.  Even if the temptation gets the best of you – no worries, you will be able to tap into your source of faith and peace.  It’s doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just gives you another lesson that will be unambiguous to you in the future.

Terry D. 

I’m NOT Perfect, but I’m Authentically and Unapologetically ME


Nope, I’m not perfect, but I am authentically ME!  

I’ve made so many mistakes in love, life and relationships.  I used to regret my choices, but every single experience was a lesson that shaped me to be ME!  We get so hung up on our past, our mistakes, what others think of us and we don’t forgive ourselves.  God never said that weapons wouldn’t form, He just said they would not prosper.  My purpose is to help others discover their purpose, and to be a tool in their healing and restoration! 

I used to think I wasn’t worthy of someone loving me, because I hadn’t learned my worth, and I didn’t know how to love myself.  I have constantly been judged for my choices, but I had to learn not to internalize it.  It’s easier for others to judge you, and honestly, that’s their problem. 

I openly share my life, love and relationship mistakes, because I had to learn not to be ashamed or a victim.  We all make mistakes, but we all deserve second chances.  

  • When I ended up homeless, I couldn’t understand why?!?!?!?
  • When I stayed in a relationship for almost 14 years, on and off, knowing it wasn’t healthy, I questioned my sanity and worth 
  • When I found myself in a pool of blood with a slit wrist, I thought it was over for me 

In every single circumstance that I just listed above, came some great lessons and blessings!  Sounds crazy, right?

I wrote a proposal to my church for a clothing closet to assist women in shelters, because I was once a recipient, and I wanted to give back, and teach those women that your circumstances don’t define your fate or YOU!

That relationship almost broke me.  I didn’t trust anyone, but I also didn’t give up on love.  I didn’t stop believing in good men, but most importantly, I am now helping others in their journey, and I’m able to share How I Survived!

In the blink of an eye, I saw myself possibly being taken out.  I had to make a decision to change my life, or lose it.  I watched my two children look at me with tears in their eyes, as I was carried out on a stretcher with tubes everywhere, with my hands restrained, so that I wouldn’t hurt myself, and it was in that moment that I knew I had a greater purpose, and that my life was not my own!  I had to pick up the pieces and start being accountable.  

To say the least, none of this was pleasant, but I’ve learned to appreciate that God’s plans are not my plans.  I won’t apologize, because I’m me, and I continue to learn and grow.  

Don’t allow others to hold your past over you.  It was just a test run… 
 
 Terry D. 

You Still Attract the Same People, Because You’re Living A Lie


20130904-055105.jpgWe often ask ourselves so many questions as to why we’re single?  Why we keep entering into bad relationships? What is it about me that keeps attracting the same men/women? What or who is the common thread? Y – O – UUUUUUU! Are you accountable for you and your actions/choices? Women like to believe that it’s because there are no good men. Maybe there are some men that don’t want a monogamous relationship, but those are the men that you stay away from. Instead, we continue to entertain them, and wonder why our relationships fail. Men think that some women are after their money. Well, if you don’t want that, stop flexing like you’re a baller, and get mad when thirsty women flock to you.

“Our consequences are often the result of our irresponsible choices!” Coach Terry D.

It feels good to say, “I’m no longer going to accept BS from anyone.” However, saying it,bethesameperson and actually living it is a different story.  You’re changed and taking no prisoners, right? Sometimes, we have to take inventory of ourselves, and not others. If there are still pieces of you that haven’t let go of the OLD you, for fear of not being attractive; you’ll still be attractive, and you will also stop attracting the same kinds of people. You can’t live an inward lie, and walk around trying to fool the public. It’s like telling people you’re celibate, but that’s only because you don’t have anyone. The real test comes when you are in a relationship, and you still stick to your commitment of celibacy.

You want change?
Start with you…
Look in the mirror, and tell yourself the cold hard truth. I mean the things you would probably never admit to anyone else. The things that will even make you look at yourself crazy.  If you know you’ve been using sex to get what you want, admit it to yourself, and pray for deliverance of promiscuity and insecurity. If you lust after someone else’s man, look inside of you, to learn why.  Sometimes we’ve lied to ourselves so long, that it feels better to accept the lie, rather than face our truths, because it doesn’t feel good to think that we could be the problem.

Write down all the things you did wrong in past relationships – NOT THE OTHER PERSON! This is a purge, a self-proclamation, a faith walk, healing, repentance, accountability and STARTING OVER! You can have affirmations, and lie to yourself all you want, but if you don’t honestly make real changes; I mean character changes, and not get into a relationship until you have earnestly made these changes, you will have a long road ahead of you that yields repetitive results of heartbreak.

You have to be ready to receive the relationship that you desire.  You have to be a woman or man about yours, and know when someone is or is not good for you, and be willing to let go, and know that this was just a test run, and not feel the need to answer to anyone else, or live your life based on expectations of others.

You’ll know when you’ve turned the corner, because you feel the change inside of you.  The conviction will be in your spirit.  You’re no longer attracted to the same things, sex is not the driving force in your quest to relationships, you will begin to attract the kind of men/women that you want, and be able to say no to the ones you’re not equally yoked with.  Love really is not as hard as we make it. We stumble our way through the dark, trying to make it perfect! It wasn’t meant to be perfect, it is meant to serve you both in the capacity that makes you happy, shows mutual respect, protects and guards the heart, forgives and trust.

If anything in this BLOG has resonated with you, or maybe you know someone that can benefit from it, please share, and let me know your thoughts. Thank you!

DSC_1102

 

Coach Terry D.